


To Love You, With Agony

by tealmoon



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, F/F, Infatuation, Medical Experimentation, discussion of body horror, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 20:43:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6823348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tealmoon/pseuds/tealmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not a wish she can make on a talking flower, but she wants it all the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Love You, With Agony

Undyne doesn't have very many dreams left. She howls about smashing the barrier and trampling humanity because it’s expected of her, but she can't believe in it anymore. She doesn't want the sun, or a million corpses. She doesn’t want to know how high her LV can go, or how much torture a human body can take before it gives up. On a good day, she can muster up the desire to see the ocean above, and that's a wish she shoves far down into her soul: no one wants to find out that the Royal Guard's Captain longs to run away and abandon the good fight for some measly waves and salt. How pathetic can she get?

It feels like people can see it in her, just a little bit. Mostly she can disguise it as the rage and depression that every monster feels, but sometimes Asgore gives her frustrated looks like he can tell what she’s thinking, like he knows his last remaining child wants to leave him like the rest. Sometimes lesser guards insult her leadership, and she’s tired of killing them and having to recruit and train newbies. Sometimes when they’re both drunk, Papyrus will grab her wrist or shoulder, looking like he wants to ask, but neither one of them is good at touching or talking. They used to be able to, when they were children, but now he just grits his teeth and accidentally bruises her.

The only thing she is allowed to want is Alphys, and she does with all of her being.

She had been rising in the ranks, important enough that she was standing with the rest of the guards around Asgore, when she first saw Alphys. Instead of one of the generic scientists that came and went from the position of Royal Scientist, there was a tiny lizard, who came up to Asgore's knees in her kitten heels. She stumbled a bit on the hem of her dress as she took her place, and someone snickered. Undyne wasn't able to see who had done it, but Alphys clearly had, blushing and glaring into the crowd.

Asgore gestured her over, and in a stuttering voice, Alphys proclaimed the research she was planning to do: improving the Core, studying and replicating souls, breaking the barrier. Undyne didn’t really understand _how_ , but if Alphys could do any of that, she’d be a hero among monsters. She had a beautiful voice, and her stutter was like raindrops or falling knives.

The rumors started barely a few hours after the conference was over: the reporter who laughed at her is now missing an arm, though Alphys had barely any time to do it between the conference and the following banquet. The new Royal Scientist makes messy examples out of the people who cross her. The Royal Scientist poisoned her competition in university. The Royal Scientist is ready to destroy anyone in her way.

Undyne had never been more in love in her life.

A low-level guard couldn’t interact with a scientist, but she watched her at the banquet, this tiny vicious scientist dodging taller monsters, leaving a few gashes with a deceptively sharp salad fork when people didn’t get out of her way. She did it fast enough that she didn’t get any dust on her dress, and Undyne lost herself in daydreams of tearing it off, carefully, as not to rip or snag its velvet on the metal of her gauntlets. She wouldn’t be so gentle with the rest of Alphys, of course; how much pressure would it take for her fangs break through those yellow scales? Undyne imagined shoving Alphys down onto the floor in front of everyone (except for Asgore, who she carefully edited out of the crowd), not even bothering to sneak her out of the room, in such a rush that she only took off her helmet. So what if they saw? She had a thousand fantasies under her belt before Alphys learned her name, when Asgore introduced them after her promotion.

Now that she’s the Captain, they actually know each other, from a distance. Mostly Alphys messages her online, and usually it’s all business, asking for her to send a guard to one place or another, because Alphys saw something on her surveillance cameras. Unless Asgore summons her out, she always stays in the Lab, locked away where no one can bother her. It’s reasonable—there are plenty of monsters who want her title. But sometimes, late at night, Alphys will just _talk,_ about her experiments or TV or the weather, and Undyne analyzes each message for the hidden meanings in them.

As Alphys tells her about cutting a Woshua’s soul in two to see if she could regenerate it, she can’t help but flush, hunched over her computer, hands denting the edge of her desk so she won’t shove them down her pants or against her gills. It’s not about the Woshua, she couldn’t care less about him. It’s the thought of Alphys covered in dust, cutting someone open—cutting _Undyne_ open. She wants to be the one on the surgical table, for once, and Alphys probably wants it too. Why would she talk about it all the time if she didn’t want to experiment on Undyne? With winking smilies, no less. They’ve been texting each other about it for months, so she must have thought Undyne was being idiotic or coy not to realize and say yes.

She doesn't even know what Alphys could do to her. Mettaton is her only example, but that's almost laughable: four arms and misplaced eyes is nothing, tame compared to what must be hiding in Alphys's brain. Undyne can't imagine what might happen. She’s heard rumors about what’s in the basement of that lab, but no one has ever gone down there and made it out to tell people. Undyne wants to be the first to see it and live. Maybe Alphys will remove her remaining eye and give her a new set; maybe she’ll give Undyne extra limbs or tamper with her soul so that it’s strong enough to break the barrier itself. She imagines her lover sewing her legs together and turning her into a mermaid. They’ve been extinct for so long, but if anyone could manage that, it’d be Alphys. The image stays with her for days afterward, and her dreams of the ocean rush back at full-force.

Someday, she’ll do it, walking into Hotland in full armor, every piece polished and engraved and beautiful, head held high even as the metal burns and fuses to her scales, to prove how much pain she could take, what a good subject she could be. If anyone gets in her way, she'll tear them down in a rain of spears—even if it’s Papyrus, or Asgore. Alphys has so many cameras that she’ll see her and know immediately, and the lab’s doors will unlock, just for Undyne. Alphys will be waiting there for her, eyes full of lust and adoration, a scalpel in hand.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Uh, so I took a break from writing angsty Underfell to write...a different flavor of angsty Underfell. There is a tragic lack of fell lesbians, not that this really makes up for that at all. Fell Undyne's characterization is so vague that I don't know what to do with her. 
> 
> Title is from I Come With Knives by IAMX.


End file.
